I have just finished a subject Evangelism in Early Christianity at the Melbourne College of Divinity. The lecturer was Alan Kreider and here is my vocal tribute (to the tune of there once was a woman who swollowed a fly.)
There once was a church who swallowed a lie.
I don't know why she swallowed the lie, perhaps she'll die.
There once was a church who listened to Kreider,
She listened to Kreider to uncover the lie.
I don't know why she swallowed the lie, perhaps she'll die.
There once a church who forgot catechesis;
she didn't train people to follow Jesus.
She forgot catechesis 'til she listened to Kreider,
who wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She listened to Kreider to uncover the lie.
I don't know why she swallowed the lie, perhaps she'll die.
There once was a church who forgot baptism sponsors;
When nominal God parents replaced true mentors.
She forgot baptism sponsors when she forgot catechesis
She forgot catechesis 'til she listened to Kreider
who wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She listened to Kreider to uncover the lie.
I don't know why she swallowed the lie, perhaps she'll die.
There once was a church who forgot non-violence;
In came the Empire and peace-makers were silenced…
There once was a church who forgot the Jews;
what a relationship to lose!...
There once was a church who forgot the women;
They all drove utes with battle axes swingin’…
There once was a church who forgot apologetics;
it was less arrogant but full of heretics…
There once was a church who forgot lived ethics;
It was so like the culture there was no difference…
There once was a church who forgot voluntary conversion;
Its compulsion was a perversion…
There once was a church who forgot the Sermon on the Mount;
I couldn’t think of a rhyme except Bishop Marcellus had gout…
There once was a church who forgot not to fear death;
She worshipped youth and held her breath.
She forgot not to fear death when she forgot the Sermon on the Mount.
She forgot the Sermon on the Mount when she forgot voluntary conversion.
She forgot voluntary conversion when she forgot lived ethics.
She forgot lived ethics when she forgot apologetics.
She forgot apologetics when she forgot the women.
She forgot the women when she forgot the Jews.
She forgot the Jews when she forgot non-violence.
She forgot non-violence when she forgot baptism sponsors.
She forgot baptism sponsors when she forgot catechesis
She forgot catechesis 'til she listened to Kreider
who wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She listened to Kreider to uncover the lie.
I don't know why she swallowed the lie, perhaps she'll die.
There once was a church who listened to Kreider.
Who retold the story of the martyr.
She listened to Kreider and uncovered the lie.
She learnt how to die. Perhaps she’ll rise.
Clever. I can play the accompaniment if you like.
Posted by: Louise | December 10, 2009 at 03:16 PM